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The horrifying current storylines surrounding autism have devastated me as an autistic woman with ADHD. I feel vulnerable, overstimulated, scared, and worn out. I feel uneasy and insecure, and my sensitivity to justice is quite high.

Writing is my tried-and-true outlet when my emotions and passion are aroused. Since I became aware of my own autism and ADHD as an adult, I have dedicated myself to using writing to debunk false information regarding neurodivergence. I express my opinions on a variety of channels. I spend hours studying and writing, fusing knowledge with personal experience, and I magnify the voices of other AuDHD people. The work has been incredibly fulfilling since it has allowed me to connect with the community and other people with AuDHD, who tell me that my writing has been helpful to them. That alone justifies the effort.

Rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD), the misery of my existence and genuinely one of the most incapacitating features of my ADHD, is another component of activism that I've seen more and more in this political environment.

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria and Gut-Punch Advocacy

I've always been greatly impacted by my fear of rejection and criticism, whether it be actual or perceived. For me, RSD manifests as physical symptoms like excessive restlessness, sweating, shaking, and nausea and vomiting. My nervous system goes into overdrive. I move quickly. I have an obsession. My brain capacity for everyday work is diminished. I frequently cry with thankfulness when I'm not in the woods and then sleep it off for a full day. Therefore, I am not exaggerating when I state that RSD is paralyzing.

Although my writing on neurodivergence isn't very divisive or contentious, I've been sternly informed that some individuals don't agree with me. It's amazing how many hateful comments I've removed from my Substack. Just for expressing my own experiences and opinions as an AuDHD woman, I've had to put up with vindictive insults and criticism. attacked only for speaking the truth and providing references to support it. The idea that so many individuals genuinely detest information always surprises me. A lot of people are strongly against learning and listening.

I find myself feeling like two distinct people. One is a leader, a fiery and fearless advocate who will do whatever it takes to demolish and rectify damaging narratives. The other is a frightened young girl who is trembling like a leaf and crouched in the corner.

Just before I push the publish button, I get terrible nausea. In dizzying waves, the anxiety of being criticized by anonymous bullies and the same people whose minds I am trying to influence surges. The nausea lessens as reposts and encouraging remarks come in, but one cruel remark in a sea of compliments makes me crawl back to my corner. I cry and I get angry. My two personalities take over: the one who tells me to run, hide, and prioritize self-preservation, and the one who demands that I endure and keep speaking out for my community.

We’ll Make It Through, As We Always Do

Being AuDHD actually means that I have a burning need for justice, feel repulsed by its absence, and am enraged by falsehoods. However, there is another reality that is closely linked to that one: I have such a strong fear of rejection that even a single remark can render me bedridden.

Friends, I would love to conclude this piece with a quiet RSD answer so that we can continue to advocate nonstop. Unfortunately, accepting these conflicting demands is the only cure. to honor whatever I'm experiencing at any particular time and to show myself radical compassion. This leads to the understanding that a large portion of the AuDHD community shares this sentiment.

My message to my community is to be kind to oneself. Also consider Adderall for sale in the USA!

Compose the article. If it feels right, get involved. Talk. If you want to, scream. If it seems safer, remove it. If you need it, whisper to the tears on your pillow. If your heart urges you to move silently, do so.

If you need a vacation from advocacy, that's okay. Blocking people is OK. As difficult as it is to acknowledge, we are unable and unwilling to persuade people who are devoted to their ignorance about neurodiversity to change their beliefs. We can't encourage empathy in those who don't perceive its advantages. All we can do is be honest, stay true to our personal experiences, and try our hardest. Change isn't usually apparent right away.

Remember that there are those who understand precisely how RSD feels when it feels like a stomach punch. I understand what it's like to have a nasty, heartless behemoth flip your world upside down and shake it.

However, RSD is not anything to be ashamed about. Despite every bit of rejection, we have come this far, and we will keep moving forward, day by day.

We must keep in mind that there will always be people who encourage and support us during difficult times. Additionally, we never lose sight of who we are, our principles, and our unchangeable beliefs. We need to hold on to this as strongly as we can; inner understanding and a community of like-minded people will get us through.

This will also pass. That may sound like a cliché, but it's also true. No state lasts forever.

I understand that, particularly during these trying times, positivity can occasionally feel so annoyingly simplistic. In actuality, though, we are forced to take each day as it comes. It's a fresh day tomorrow. There will be a new sky tomorrow.

Perhaps tomorrow will serve as our compass.